Everything is so normal and natural. And only sometimes I have those moments when I am astounded, how unbelievably amazing it is, that I was carrying a tiny human being in my belly for 9 months. And the purpose of it was to give him birth and support him in his own way through life. Cause this is the thing. Children do not belong to us. We receive them to help them grow on their own terms, follow their own needs and to help them become independent in the future and choose their own path. When I think about it, I am in awe how incredible the process is, how mother nature “invented” this and how totally helpless the baby is, completely dependent on us. Magic. In contrary, in everyday life, everything seems so natural to me. Pregnancy, growing belly, birth, breastfeeding, changing, playing, breastfeeding, changing and so on. The natural order of things.
People says that having a newborn is like a revolution, 180 degrees change, end of the previous life, end of the parties and nights slept through. But I don’t feel it like that. It’s simply the stage of life. Sure, some reorganization must be done, there is a new man in the world after all. I’m dressing up and wondering not only if the blouse fits the pants but also if it will be comfortable to feed the baby in it. I’m going out and thinking of places suitable for feeding and changing the diapers. And I’d rather come back home earlier than later, as 21:00 is a perfect hour to go to bed. Before it was always possible to sleep more the next day if I didn’t sleep enough the previous night. Now I know, that if I talk with a friend or watch a movie till late in the evening, I will get up tired and frustrated. And in such condition, I do not have patience for my son at all. So those changes are obvious but is it really necessary to forget about yourself in order to take care of your child? Absolutely not!
Is it possible to get enough sleep with a baby? I must say, I cannot complain. It was a bit exhausting at the beginning to get up every two hours, but then I learned to nap during the day together with Tomasz. And after less than three months he started to sleep from 21:00 til 4:00. So I sleep from 22:00 til 4:00 and then a little more from 6:00 til 7:00. And it is somehow enough for me. (Sometimes he wakes up around 2:00 or 3:00 and then I am tired in the morning, but luckily it happens not so often). Nevertheless, I remember those thoughts – when I will be able to sleep the whole night through? How underappreciated is the blessing of having all night for rest!
Is it necessary to forget about coffee meeting with a friend or a day by the sea? Sure it is not! You just have to bring your little one, what is additional entertainment (unless he cries all the time ? ).Do you have to sacrifice your holiday? No, but more on that another time.
Do you have to sacrifice your holiday? No, but more on that another time.
I think it won’t do any good to sacrifice anything for child’s sake, or for anybody’s else for that matter. There is nothing noble about it. Cause it means giving up oneself for somebody else. The question is: is it possible to make anybody happy by giving up your own needs and desires? In my opinion, it is not. I can only make somebody else happy by being happy myself in the first place. Cause you have to have in order to give. If I am happy, I can share it with people around me. If I am not, I have nothing to offer. Naturally, I’m not going to drink a wine with dinner or go party all night, but it is not a sacrifice to me as the sacrifice is associated with the feelings of grief and regret. It is simply the natural way of things, no bad feelings at all. Because a happy mom means a happy baby!