Nursery – yes or no?

Does your child attend a nursery?

Sooner or later you will meet this question if you are a parent. Even if you know exactly what you want to do and you have a strong opinion about nurseries, be sure somebody will bring the topic. And two opposite camps will be formed. One for and the other against attending a nursery.

Let me tell you why I don’t like such discussion. And please, don’t take me wrong. I believe the discussion is good, we ought to talk in order to develop opinions, gather information and share our experiences. What I don’t like is arguing and persuading which option is the only right one. Because we are all different, our life situations are different, so are our beliefs. So the best what we can do is to respect others decisions and do not convince others that yours is better than mine.

My child is not going to a nursery. The first three years of the life are hugely important and I wanted to participate in them, to have control over my son’s upbringing, to let him fulfill his natural rhythm of activities. I wanted to be present, to wrap him in love and sense of security. I didn’t want to miss important moments nor to expose us to the stress of separation and putting him under someone else’s care.

The research about nursery’s effects will continue and will bring a variety of answers. Like with the cow milk, once the healthiest beverage, has become somewhat harmful nowadays. There will be always those, who will focus on positive sides and those who will write about downsides. The most important is to trust your own instincts and to consider your options.

First of all, staying with a child at home is not available for everyone financially. In the past, mums were going back to work and kids were under grandma’s supervision. Nowadays, more often than not, grandparents live far and parents have to find another solution.

Maybe a nanny? The child will stay home so the environment won’t change, hopefully, a nanny will follow our instructions so the rules won’t change either. Moreover, the child will be constantly with one and the same person, so there are bigger chances for developing a connection between them. But in order to fulfill all the above, we need to find a good nanny and pay not small money at all.

And here comes a nursery. It would be perfect to pick the ideal one. And all should be like that, with qualified staff and wide program customized for children. But are they? Probably our choice is limited by the distance and fees. However, the child will socialize, get some friends and plenty of attractions in return.

How does it look like in Denmark? Infants are sent to nurseries quite early. I noticed it during our walks. I’ve always seen many parents with strollers. But when we are slowly walking on two feet, I have hardly ever met anyone in similar age. Of course, some kids are staying home with their mums or dads and we meet together in “legestue”. It is a playgroup, in my area organized by church once a week for two hours. There is always some food, singing and dancing included. Costs vary from place to place, 1-3 euro. It is such a great idea because our kids learn interactions and begin to socialize. As for nurseries, I heard many bad opinions. One of the good sides is that children go out no matter the weather. And there also exist “dagpleje” with only 4-5 kids in a group.

The only right answer to the question “nursery – yes or no?” does not exist. Any will be good as long as it suits you. Maybe you want to be with a child so you’ll find a weekend job when the father can take care of the child. Maybe you need to go back to work otherwise you won’t have enough money or you’ll lose your position. Or maybe you want to go back to work because you simply love what you do or you cannot imagine being at home for so long. It is much better to do whatever needs to be done in order to feel satisfaction than to be frustrated and miserable. Cause the best parent will always be a happy and fulfilled parent!